Stuff just doesn’t do it.

By the time I was 26, I was a millionaire making $250,000 a year. Not long after that, due to some really dumb business decisions, I went broke and lost everything. That was 30 years ago. 

I also met God during this time, who did bring me peace and completion. I finally realized I was pouring Stuff down a spiritual hole, and Stuff is not designed to fill that hole. No matter how many cars I bought, or fancy dinners I ate, or cool places I traveled to, there was always something still missing. 

During the following decades, we slowly began re-building wealth … this time while always giving. In the process, we discovered there’s much more joy in giving than in Stuff. If you haven’t experienced the joy of giving, there’s no better time to start than during the holiday season. Who knows? It might just be the encouragement you need to become a giver all year long. 

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Dave

Dear Dave,

My mom and dad always told me to live within my means. As an adult, I’ve made some mistakes with money, including falling right back into debt after paying off everything. I’m tired of this rollercoaster, and I want to get control of my finances for good. Can you give me some advice on where to start? 

Melissa

Dear Melissa,

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But making mistakes with money means just one thing. It means you’re human. We’ve all done it. Think about this, though. We’re approaching a traditional time of the year for changes. On top of that, you’re smart enough to have realized what you’ve done in the past hasn’t worked.   

Believe it or not, I was once in the exact same spot you are now. When it happened to me, there were three pieces to the puzzle that helped me break the cycle. One was fear. Specifically, I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my family, and that I’d retire broke. Now, don’t misunderstand me. No one should live their lives in fear. But a healthy, reasonable level of fear can provide needed motivation. 

Another was disgust. I realized what I was doing was stupid. I was tired of living that way, and I made a conscious, purposeful decision that things were going to be different. 

The third piece, and maybe the most important because it’s connected to our spiritual walk, was contentment. We live in a society that’s constantly having the idea that we’ll be happier, or more successful, or more admired, if we’ll only buy this or that product. We’re constantly marketed to, and when we have this stuff in our faces day after day, we can become unsatisfied with just about every aspect of our lives. Don’t let it drag you down. It’s all just an illusion.

One of the things I did to combat this, was to start living on a strict, written, monthly budget. Also, I stopped going places where I was tempted to spend money. You shouldn’t give a drunk a drink, right? So, don’t put yourself in a bad situation when it comes to your behavior with money. If you go wandering through the mall without a specific plan, you’ll lose every single time.

When you go to the store make a list of only the things you need. On top of that, take only enough cash with you to buy what you need. If you can, walk in and back out without buying a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on your list, it’s a win. Every time you do this, it’s another win and another step away from your old habits and in the right direction.

You can do this, Melissa. God bless you.

Dave