True love

Carrey Dewey died at just 46, when this wife and mother of three lost her nearly four-year battle with A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) on May 17, 2018. It slowly robbed her of the ability to walk, talk, or even wipe her own tears.

After being diagnosed in August 2014, Carrey, who was a teacher, committed to sharing her experience. Sports journalist Eric Crawford posted her story on Valentine’s Day, 2018, shortly before her death, noting that her Facebook blog had more than 5,000 followers. Her writing inspired, comforted, and challenged others touched by the tragic disease. While acknowledging her sense of loss, Carrey wrote, “A.L.S. might steal my speech. It will never take my voice.”

After Carrey’s diagnosis, her family committed to making the most of the time they had left. Within two days, they began checking items off her bucket list. Some of her dreams were small, like shopping with her daughter at an American Girl store; others were large, taking a Disney cruise, skiing in Colorado, and greeting Boston Marathon runners who competed in her honor.

She wrote many love notes to each of her children and spent hours cuddling with them. Carrey knew she would not survive to shop with her daughters for wedding dresses when they were adults, so she asked a friend to make two First Communion dresses for her daughters, Anne Marie and Colleen, from her wedding gown.

Though her children generally dealt with her impending death in healthy ways, they were not perfect. As the disease progressed and Carrey gradually lost her ability to speak, she began using a device to help her communicate using customized phrases. Her children’s fighting eventually necessitated them adding the phrase: “No fighting in my room.”

Carrey and her husband, Eric, met at the University of Louisville. She described him as “‘a rolling party’ saying everybody liked him… Even so, I don’t think any of us would’ve picked him, of all the people we knew, to be the best father and husband…” However, amidst her illness, this was precisely what Eric became. Carrey wrote, “Eric is awesome… It’s harder than being a single dad, because he’s doing all of that, and he’s caring for me… and he’s still doing a great job.”

On Valentine’s Day, most people focus on romance. Romantic love is wonderful; however, romance never fully portrays love. In the Bible’s “love chapter,” love is defined this way: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:7, NLT)

This kind of consistent love sustained the couple throughout Carrey’s devastating illness. Love like this helps each of us survive our darkest hours. While it is wonderful to tell others how much we love them, it is far better to faithfully demonstrate our love during the storms that inevitably come into every life.

Click here to read Eric Crawford’s article.