From the 3rd floor
of the Webb City Public Library
Webb City Area Genealogical Society
Grace Elliff is definitely one of Webb City’s most memorable teachers.
One of her students, Mark Harrington, posted the class photo above from 1962 when he was in her sixth-grade class at Eugene Field Elementary School.
“We were probably a real handful about this time of year,” Harrington posted. “Seems like she walked us all down to the Dairy Queen at some point at the end of that year and bought us all an ice cream cone.
“She had high expectations for me that I never quite achieved. We lived a few blocks from her later in life and I would see her from time to time. She never forgot me, and I surely never forgot her.”
His classmate, Sissy Freese Brown, commented on the post, “I really liked her. Do you remember square dancing every Friday? All the other classes were so jealous. Lots of fun!!”
Marti Robins Pittman, a retired junior high teacher, says it was Elliff’s recommendation (demand) that she be hired to fill a vacant teaching position.
“I loved her,” commented Pittman to Harrington’s post. “[I was] Not in her class till 9th (grade). Taught with her. Such a good influence on so many lives!”
Part of that influence may in part be because of Elliff’s renowned rules for survival in her class, which have recently been found at the Webb City Genealogical Society on faded mimeograph paper and retyped.
1. Stay awake. Stay alert. Sit up straight. Act alive — Students who sit on the back of their necks, slump over, lie with their heads on the desk and play dead are hauled off in the janitor’s trash cart and find themselves waking up on the city dump.
2. Always bring your OWN book, paper, and pencil EVERY DAY. Borrowing is not tolerated from me or anyone else. Several thousand have been killed because they didn’t obey this rule! Capital punishment is legal in Missouri, remember.
3. Study hard! Work! Toil! Labor! Penalty for not doing this is banishment to Siberia. It’s cold there any time of the year and labor camps are not much fun! Start packing if you don’t plan to obey!
4. Don’t ever sass or talk back. Dentures aren’t becoming to students of your age and besides Polident is expensive.
5. No talking or horseplay is allowed in my class. Few students are skilled in the use of karate. I am!
6. No running in and out of my room. Please take care of your business BEFORE you come in. Many things can be accomplished in five minutes. When you come in, prepare to stay. Permission is required to leave the room. Scalping is coming back in style even if you aren’t an Indian. Few bald-headed people are attractive, except maybe Kojak.
7. Never cheat. Be sure your sins will find you out—being flung through plate-glass windows from the second floor, resulting in cuts which require stitches.
8. You will stand on both feet to reply to questions. And you will stand straight and reply distinctly. I don’t want you crumbling over like a limp noodle. Punishment is 40 lashes on Main Street. (I am very skilled in the use of a blacksnake whip!)
9. You will respond to me with a simple “yes” or “no,” and never with “yowp” “yep” or “nope.”Remember casts are uncomfortable and broken bones heal slowly.
10. If you make a low score on a test, don’t be discouraged. Never give up! Never give in! Determine to study harder or make a better grade next time. Don’t look back—How would you like to be turned into a pillar of salt?
11. Don’t chew gum. It makes you look stupid. Wait for high school. (I don’t care how stupid you look then). Remember it is difficult to chew gum then or eat corn off the cob with three front teeth missing.)
12. Don’t write with a red pencil or pen—if you faint easily at the sight of blood.
13. Students are expected to be good sports and expect teasing by the teacher and a fun time. Those who won’t cooperate will be turned into a frog!
14. Always be prepared for in such a time as you think not, a pop quiz cometh. You wouldn’t think that, where the air is clear and the nights are quiet, you’d have trouble falling asleep at night, but it’s pretty hard to do so with bumps on your head and bruises on your body. Better keep plenty of Sominex in the house for such occasions.
15. Don’t be tardy to my class. Pink slips are doled out freely for this offense and the principal is not very patient.
16. Pencils will be sharpened ONLY after roll is taken and with my permission. Try writing with a sharpened thumb. Pointy heads don’t look too well either after being run through the pencil sharpener!
I am not joking about these rules. They are to be obeyed—only joking about the punishment, but not very much.
Yours for a fun year,
Mrs. Elliff
