Slow to anger

American adults experience a lot of anger, on average, two episodes daily. According to Crown Counseling’s website, 30% of us say we have difficulty controlling our temper. A remarkable 64% of us believe society is becoming increasingly angry. What’s more, 9% of American adults have such severe anger issues that they could become violent.

The most easily recognized anger is hot and explosive. Unresolved anger is not nearly as loud, but it is significant, since nearly 20% of adults admit to losing sleep over it. A variation of this quieter fury could be labeled “cold anger,” in which, instead of exploding, a person’s eyes narrow, their voice softens, and they bottle up their emotions. Pastor Charles Salmon described it this way, saying cold anger has an attitude which says, “I don’t get mad, I get even.”

Often, when we think of anger, we focus only on the explosive form and ignore the quieter forms. Unfortunately, internalized anger can be just as harmful, making us bitter and often leading to harsh outbursts.

Although it could easily seem that anger is always bad, it is not. Paul told believers in Ephesus, “Be angry but do not sin…” (Ephesians 4:26, NASB) Scripture even says Jesus was once angry, “He (Jesus) looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts.” (Mark 3:5, NLT)

Jesus’ anger was his reaction to the people’s stubbornness. He offered grace to people whose minds were closed to his generosity. Instead of accepting his kind offer, they stubbornly refused to let go of self-righteous religious rules that did not come from God. Jesus’ angry reaction came from both his deep grief at their refusal to accept God’s mercy and how they eagerly heaped ever more difficult rules on those who were already overwhelmed. Jesus was angry, but his reaction was measured and appropriate.

The Apostle James also encouraged Christians to use restraint when he wrote, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1:19–20, NLT)

James’ warning to be “slow to get angry” follows his statement about being “quick to listen and slow to speak.” When our anger boils over, and we quickly lash out at others, it neither produces the “righteousness God desires” nor makes our own lives better. Anger that can make things better comes from a desire to make right what is wrong.